


How will we tell the grand-kids we met when you threw up on me?

by Bettyboop13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Alpha Wade Wilson, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Coffee Shops, Drunk Wade Wilson, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Flirting, Fluff, Hangover, Helpful Peter Parker, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Omega Peter Parker, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Scenting, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bettyboop13/pseuds/Bettyboop13
Summary: Spideypool-'i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ au
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 41
Kudos: 530





	How will we tell the grand-kids we met when you threw up on me?

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt stolen (?) from: https://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com/post/101118660910/au-prompts-masterlist-of-lists 
> 
> I wanna work on my writing skills so I can finish other fics I've started, so I'm challenging myself to write Spideypool. :):) Don't forget to go check out day the previous days work by clicking on the series title!
> 
> SPECIAL NOTE: I'd like to dedicate this one shot to all my faithful reads who continue reading and complimenting and kudosing despite my spelling mistakes xD *You know who I'm talking about, it's YOU*

Wade roused slowly; he could feel the remnants of a hangover in his head, but having regenerative powers made it usually very weak and quick. He opened his eyes, finding the room nicely stable, but very unfamiliar. What had he done last night? After his three or four bottles of vodka, was it? God why was his regen such a curse at times.

“Hng,” He groaned, sitting up. He was in… a living room, he must have slept on the couch. Not one he recognised. He licked his lips. Thirsty. He should probably find out where the kitchen was for a drink. He looked around; huh he was still in the same clothes as last night. He smelt like… omega a bit. Oh god, he didn’t sleep with someone did he? 

“Oh, you’re up.”

Wade looked up, room now starting to spin a bit. There was someone on the stairs. Wade shut his eyes again, as they were having trouble focusing. The alpha relied on his nose; that was the omega he’d smelt on himself before. Did he... sleep with them last night? But then why was he on the couch?

“How do you feel?” The omega was closer now.

“I’ve felt better.” The alpha replied. “Who are… how’d I get here?”

Wade opened his eyes, making sure the world wasn’t going to go for a spin cycle again and looked up at the omega, who was giving him an amused look. _He_ also happened to be drop-dead _gorgeous, _standing there in an oversize t-shirt and baggy trackpants. Wade could practically hear the hallelujah chorus in his head.

“You don’t remember do you?” The omega chuckled.

Peter Parker was coming home from a college party Friday night, or so he’d have his aunt believe. In reality, he was swinging home from Spiderman duties, fresh from a nasty fight. Peter wasn’t sure what Aunt May thought of how he occupied himself; he was usually “working late” at the paper, or “partying”, and sometimes getting into fights. She never said anything though; she herself had been a bit preoccupied lately still unpacking from the move and adjusting to living somewhere quieter, with a backyard for the new addition to the family.

Getting a dog had been Peter’s suggestion, but merely a suggestion, that Aunt May took as completely serious. And it wasn’t long until Peter came home one day to find the liver German Shepard puppy chewing his shoes. Franklin (after Uncle Ben) was his beta aunt’s pride and joy, after Peter of course.

So that Friday night as Peter was arriving home, wheeling his bicycle into the backyard, he was quite surprised to see not only that Franklin was outside after midnight, but that there was a stranger in his backyard. The stranger was squatting down and giving the dog lots of kissing and pats and scratches.

“Uh, excuse me?” Peter asked, waiting for his Spidey senses to tell him this strange man was dangerous. He was pretty obviously drunk. Franklin let out a ‘bouf’ as he heard Peter and came over to him, the stranger only now noticing Peter himself.

“Oh ‘ello,” The man smiled. “_You’re_ a sight for ssssore eyes.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Peter patted Franklin’s head as he licked his fingers. The man came a little closer and Peter could smell his was an alpha, a drunk but not altogether bad smelling alpha. Since neither Franklin nor his spider senses were unsettled, Peter felt more relaxed.

“’is just,” The man motioned to Franklin, “dogs’re great!”

Peter could see now that he was closer that the alpha was quite deformed, in that he was covered in scar tissue and had virtually no hair. He looked in pain, Peter didn’t know what to do. He’d never had to tell a strange, drunk alpha to get off his property before. Then the strange alpha suddenly and quite rudely, threw up, all over Peter’s shoes.

“Oh my god,” Peter jumped back, pulling Franklin away. How drunk was this guy??

The alpha wiped his mouth and glanced up at Peter apologetically before falling to his knees. Peter groaned. Now what should he do? He could realistically just get rid of the guy, Spiderman was more than capable of moving such a big alpha, but – he couldn’t guarantee this guy was going to pass out. What if he woke up while Peter was putting on the suit?

“I guess you’re coming inside then,” Peter sighed, just as the alpha fell to the side. Out like a light. “See this is why I don’t drink.” Peter told Franklin, who was sniffing the vomit. “Franklin NO!”

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” Wade shut his eyes as he got a wave of embarrassment. “How did I even get into your yard.”

“I asked myself that,” The omega nodded. Before looking over his shoulder towards the stairs. “Look, happy to give you some water and let you sit and gather yourself before kicking you out but is it possible you can recover outside?”

“Why?” The alpha looked up.

“My aunt doesn’t know you’re here. She’ll be leaving for work soon, and I’d rather her not throw hysterics.”

So, the omega moved Wade out onto the tiny back patio, reassuring him that his aunt wouldn’t come out. Wade had smelt another scent in the house but had been so distracted by the beautiful omega he forgot about it. Franklin was already in the backyard and was very excited to see his new best friend again. Wade was both glad and mortified the vomit had disappeared.

“Want a coffee? I’m about to have one.” The omega stuck his head out the back door. Wade nodded, Franklin practically in his lap. “My name’s Peter by the way.”

"Nice to meet you Peter, I wish I had met you under different circumstances. I'm Wade."

After about twenty minutes Wade both heard and smelt Peter’s beta aunt moving around downstairs, talking to Peter. Then it was quiet, and Peter came outside with two cups of coffee.

“So, wanna tell me why you were wondering around my neighbourhood drunk last night?” Peter asked.

“I honestly don’t know,” Wade sighed, then jumped, he didn’t want this cute omega to feel bad or anything. “Not like I’m an alcoholic or anything! I just….” Wade thought hard for a minute – what did he last remember? In the Deadpool suit with Spiderman and… “Oh. I said something to my very good friend, and we argued a bit. We’re fine I just… hate it when we argue.”

Peter could smell the fear and sadness wafting off Wade, and even Franklin whined a little.

“I’m sure it’s fine.” He smiled reassuringly, but it did nothing to cheer Wade up,

“What were _you_ doing getting home so late last night?”

“O-oh. I was at a college party.”

The alpha sniffed. “You don’t smell like alcohol or drugs. What sorta party was this?”

“Just a run of the mill party, I don’t drink or do drunks or anything.”

“You don’t even smell like anyone but your aunt and this pooch.” Wade looked at Peter suspiciously.

“Okay! So, I wasn’t as a party, I was – working.”

“Uh huh.” Wade shook his head. “So look, I gotta do something to apologize for breaking and entering for Franky here. Can I take you out for breakfast? That is assuming I’m not too disgusting to be seen in public with.”

“Sure. I was going to head into college today to work on assignments anyway.” Peter leant forward and glanced at Wade when he sniffed a hint of arousal. Peter’s shirt had slid off his shoulder, exposing a lot of skin. “Are you thinking like a 7/11 or Starbucks?”

“Whatever you want, baby boy. I got money.” Wade nodded, picking up on a tinge of arousal back.

Wade ended up playing with Franklin more while Peter got changed, then they headed into town. Peter was pretty much set on Starbucks at this point, and Wade was happy to oblige.

“So, I don’t smell alpha on you…” Wade started, chin on his palm as he watched Peter eat. Peter tried to ignore him.

“You do not.”

“So, no one big and scary will come beat me up if I ask to see you again?”

Peter chuckled. “No, that’s not really my type.”

“Aw, so not me than.” Wade leant back in his seat, smiling a little. Peter looked up at him, licking some whipped cream off his spoon.

“Not you.” He confirmed, hiding a smirk.

“Ouch.”

“Big scary alphas don’t treat omega’s to Frappuccino’s to apologise for vomiting on them. At least not in my experience.”

“Have many alpha’s thrown up on you???” Wade’s eyes went wide. Peter thought for a minute; a few had when he was Spiderman, Deadpool had twice, MJ had once or twice. “I don’t like how long your thinking for.”

“Omegas get thrown up on more than any other gender.” Peter shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Uh, this might just be my alpha talking but that sounds disgusting. No one should _ever_ throw up on you.”

“I unfortunately don’t get to chose that.” Peter stirred his frap while Wade grumbled to himself. He felt awfully calm around Wade, despite him actually being a big and scary alpha. He was a sofie inside.

“Well, may I offer my assistance in making sure no one else is allowed to throw up on you?”

Peter let out an involuntary gasp. “You want to s-scent me?”

“Does it even help?”

“I d-dunno, I’ve not, no one’s ever…” Peter got flustered, fumbling the lid to his cup.

“_Hey_,” Wade said in soft alpha tones, Peter immediately calmed. “I’m only teasing. It’s alright. Don’t expect you to let me until we know each other better.”

“Okay,” Peter nodded, taking a long drink. Peter sniffed the air. “I think it’s going to rain.”

“Really?” Wade looked up.

“I should get going,” Peter said sadly, then offered Wade his wrist. “Here.”

“Uh, I don’t have a pen.”

Peter chuckled softly. “Smell.”

Wade swallowed; Peter was offering Wade his scent. This practise was only usually reserved for the third date or so. He was allowing Wade to memorise his scent, so Wade could easily track and find him again. It was very unusual for omegas to offer first, especially since this wasn’t even a real date, and it was very intimate. The wrist was the second strongest place omega’s scented from, after the neck. But the neck was _only_ reserved for mates.

“A-are you sure.” Wade looked at Peter nervously. Peter nodded.

Wade sat forward and took Peter’s arm in his hand, before slowly leaning his head down to Peter’s wrist. Peter gasped a little as Wade’s nose made contact with his skin. Peter smelt like… like a dream; it was impossible to describe with words. Wade brushed his lips against the delicate skin as well and pressed a chaste kiss there, he even tasted good. Peter chuckled a little. Wade took another deep inhale, filling his lungs before sitting back.

“Balls in your court now.” Peter smiled at him, and he’d never looked so beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm seriously considering going back and writing second chapters for my one shots...  
Sorry if today wasn't up to snuff, I'm ngl I wasn't in the mood to write but I didn't want to fall more behind that I already am. 
> 
> You know the drill ;)


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